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Tinder-garten

9/9/2017

15 Comments

 
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by David Hagenbuch, founder of Mindful Marketing & author of Honorable Influence

It’s great to watch kids grow and mature, for instance, as they take their first steps, attend their first day of school . . . have their first hook up?!  Most parents don’t want to imagine that last experience, especially if their children are still young; yet, some companies are making meeting apps that many are calling “Tinder for Teens.”
 
If you’re not familiar with Tinder, that’s not a bad thing.  It’s one of the seemingly hundreds of dating apps that have hit the market over the past few years, helping people find significant others.  However, there are big differences between Tinder and some of the more traditional dating sites.
 
For instance, eHarmony users answer a lengthy set of probing questions, aimed at finding one’s true soulmate, which takes over an hour.  The cost for one month is $49.95.  A Tinder profile, on the other hand, is free at the basic level and takes only a few minutes to setup: “You simply download the app to your smart phone, link to your Facebook account, choose up to six photos of yourself, and write a brief bio.  That’s it!”
 
The use of Tinder is equally easy, and as many would say, pretty superficial.  Even though bios are available “it’s all about the photos.”  Users review others’ pics, and if they see someone they like, they swipe right, while everyone unattractive gets swept left.  If two people swipe right on each other, the app invites them to start chatting.

This quick and easy vetting reflects the way many users regard the people they meet through the platform, i.e., users turn to Tinder to find candidates for casual sex, i.e., one-night stands, i.e., “hook ups.”
 
Sexual intimacy without commitment tends to end badly for people of any age.  It’s especially abhorrent to encourage lascivious behavior among adolescents, who are even less cognizant of the consequences of their actions.  Some teen-targeting apps are doing just that, however.  What’s more, there can be other consequences for these young people that are even worse than those of casual sex with their peers.

Probably the most popular friend/dating app for teens is Spotafriend, which describes itself as “the hottest teen swiping app for meeting new friends.”  The company’s website goes on to claim that it is “not a teen dating app, it’s a new way to make friends.”  However, that self-assessment is quickly questioned as Spotafriend’s own LinkedIn site says: “Meet teens near you with Spotafriend, the Tinder alternative for people ages 13-19.”
 
But, maybe Spotafriend’s comparison to Tinder is just puffery; or perhaps it’s only referencing the more demure uses of the adult app.  It’s hard to make those interpretations, however, after reading one of the featured posts on Spotafriend’s blogsite titled “5 Major Hook-Up Ground Rules.”  Here are a few excerpts from the article:
 
“Hookups in high school and college are exciting, and can be your first real meeting with the issues of love and sex, issues that most of us don’t really understand in our teenage years.”

“If you’re just kissing, or going all the way, make sure both participants are comfortable and willing to continue with the interaction.”

“Do Whatever Makes You Comfortable”

“Many acts that people consider “hooking up” carry the risk of infectious diseases being spread from person to person.”
 
Unfortunately, the possibility of reckless sex with someone the same age is not the only serious risk to teens using Spotafriend.  Given that the app’s parameters are “for people age 13 to 19,” there’s built-in potential for 18 or 19-year-old men, legally adults, to interact with 13-year-old girls.  What’s even worse is the ease with which even older adults can access the app and join the mix.
 
Lisa Schmidt, a 42-year-old dating coach and matchmaker, was curiously concerned about the rise of dating apps for teens, so she decided to check-out Spotafriend.  In her guest blog post on Global Dating Insights, she recounts how easy it was for her to access the app and pose as a 15-year-old girl.  It was even easier for her to change her birthday once inside.
 
As Schmidt’s experience suggests and leading child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg confirms, apps like Spotafriend are “‘on-line playgrounds’ for paedophiles.”  Carr-Gregg adds, “All it would take is a smooth-talking paedophile to send some silky little messages to these kids and away we go.”  The fact that such apps are location-based and work seamlessly with messaging apps like Snapchat makes teens all-the-more vulnerable to predators.
 
It’s great when people use social media to build friendships.  Spotafriend’s name and promotion, however, are misleading.  The app’s real aim appears to be more about helping teens “hook up,” while providing few safeguards against sexual predators.  Unfortunately, many innocent young people fall victim to the appeal, making Spotafriend an example of “Single-Minded Marketing.”

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15 Comments
sugar daddy link
9/14/2017 02:37:19 am

Tinder for Teens claims "not a teen dating app, it’s a new way to make friends.", "Meet teens near you with Spotafriend, the Tinder alternative for people ages 13-19.". Actually, many teens use this app to seek casual or sex partner. Yes, Tinder is a great app, it's very easy to register and use, but this feature "Tinder for Teens" should been removed. It's a damaging influences for teens.

Reply
Mallory McCauley
9/15/2017 12:31:26 am

Personally, I think that Tinder could be a great dating site, but since it is free the app attracts many young teens. Individuals that pay for EHarmony really want to find love and that it why they have more successful relationships. Even if Tinder starts charging $1.99 a month it will lose some of those teens that just want to "hook up." If Tinder was known for more than just a hook up site, it will attract a better target market.

Reply
Austin Bright
9/20/2017 05:30:10 pm

I believe this problem is a consequence of technology. With our nation's children turning to their cell phones and social media for conversations, they are loosing the ability too talk to other kids face to face. When teenagers start to consider dating, they don't have the skills necessary for social interaction, such as asking a friend out on a date. So instead of mustering their courage, they hide behind a screen and plug into Tinder and Spotafriend so they can stalk their so called "crushes". These apps can lead to bad habits and can often times get kids into trouble at an early age. Children need to learn how to put the phone away and start developing the social skills necessary for healthy, long lasting relationships.

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Amelia Parker
9/20/2017 08:39:33 pm

This article depicts some very commonplace, yet insidious information. Children and teens are increasingly more involved and engaged in various forms of social media. As a child everyone wants to grow up and participate in "adult" things. With the growth of technology and social media this has spread to apps like Instagram, Facebook, and as the article stated even Tinder. While Tinder is a free alternative to other adult dating sites, its purpose and use is not meant for child or teen involvement. The internet is a dangerous place for children, especially when the proper security precautions have not been established. A "Tinder for teens" is a risky proposition and should have no place in our society. The idea of adults benefiting financial from the creation of such an app is disturbing. Until children and teens are educated on the risks of online interaction, and a safety guaranteed app is created, the concept should be completely off the table.

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Alexander
9/21/2017 12:40:14 am

I personally think that Tinder will never recover from its reputation of being no more than an "hook-up" app. The app currently has so many negative connotations that it'll be nearly impossible for people to change their stigmas towards it, no matter what the developers do.

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Emily
9/21/2017 01:19:17 am

In today's society, tinder is very dangerous thing that affects teenagers in a negative way. Most individuals between the ages of 13-19 shouldn't even be thinking about sex. They should be focused on their education, friends, and family. There are so many negative effects to apps like Tinder. The article highlighted a few of those concerns. First, there's this mutual understanding that most people using Tinder are there for hookups. This already sets the stage for sex. Next, if more and more younger kids are using this app, that opens new doors for rape, pedophilia, stds, pregnancy, etc.
All in all, apps like Tinder should be banned. They only lead bring trouble, destruction, and heartache.

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Ian Olsen
9/21/2017 09:26:26 am

Personally, I think Tinder was a horrible idea to begin with. To provide people with a place to lose intimacy between themselves and chat and then hook up based purely on attractiveness and losing the intimate intent between physical contact and attraction is extremely unhealthy to the world's dating environment, and discredits any real intentionality in dating. Now, creating a website with the same intent, for younger people that have not nearly properly developed brains or decision-making skills to discern whether what they're engaging in is even a healthy thing is extremely dangerous to our world's youth, and while it does create stakeholder value by offering something to a different market, it's very much against societal values, especially mine and most Christians' beliefs.

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Bryce
9/21/2017 11:36:18 am

I believe apps like Tinder was once thought to be for meeting new people but quickly turned into a "hook up" app. The number of young adults joining the app is rising and its because of the way others around them use it. Its scary to think that it was so easy for the women in the article to pretend she as 13.That says that anyone can make an account and pose as someone different. In the end, apps like Tinder will hurt relationships in the long run if people sole purpose is to use that app for "hook ups".

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Cole R
9/21/2017 12:56:14 pm

Apps like Tinder and Spotafriend are poisonous for modern day teenagers- especially Christian adolescents. Regardless of what the apps claim to be used for, they can very easily be narrowed down to apps utilized by teens to hook up and have sex. These applications are incredibly dangerous in the literal sense of the reality that pedophiles can easily access victims and cause serious damage, but these applications are also damaging the moral conscience of young teens. Offering hook ups in such a simple and easy way normalizes the idea of casual sex which is detrimental to teenagers. Christian teens are especially at risk of being damaged by the themes that come alongside these apps. When a Christian teenager uses Tinder, they are oblivious to the fact that they are jumping feet-first into the temptation of premarital sex. Once a teen has entered Tinder they have become susceptible to what the world thinks is "okay" but we as Christians see as toxic and dangerous. Sexual temptation is a very steep and very slippery slope and applications like Tinder and Spotafriend are enticing more and more teens to try and navigate that slippery slope. These applications may very well hold societal values, but they destroy the values that we hold as Christians and should be treated as such.

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Steven Johnsen
10/13/2017 03:59:08 pm

Dating apps today are very dangerous. Most people are using dating apps to find hook ups. Adolescents need to be taught how to use these in the right way. Dating apps are supposed to find someone to date and know, and eventually end up with a soulmate. Our society is so screwed up today that people automatically label these dating apps to find a person to have sex with. It should not be that way. There has to be a better way to make a dating app and market it effectively.

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Naomi Jow
10/16/2017 01:59:49 pm

I am completely against this app. I do not think it is necessary or even for kids to use this app. I understand that the “hook-up” culture is extremely popular and even considered normal. However, because I am Christian, I do not believe in premarital sex. I think that dating apps in general can be beneficial if used “correctly.” But, many people who use these apps perceive themselves in a dishonest way to fulfill their own desires/intentions. This can be seen in adults making a profile on Spotafriend to lure children as well as other dating websites where people lie about their age/appearance.

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Marisa Shon
10/20/2017 06:52:35 pm

I think that Tinder’s concept is great for finding new people and getting to know that without that payment commitment, but overall, it’s reputation as a hook-up site is not easily ignored. Some other individuals pay subscriptions to different dating apps, making people think that you’re more serious about dating when you pay, but in fact that may not always be the case. If Tinder was able to change its reputation as a hook up app, it may have more success for people in the long run.

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Nic Nelson
10/23/2017 11:17:48 pm

These social websites hide behind good intentions but are filled with bad behavior and bad intentions. They uphold stakeholder value because they have a regular stream of users but they don't uphold societal values. This will allow them to keep running successfully but will negatively impact users. They are not making sure that they are restricting immoral behavior. Although, users know what they are getting into when they go on these websites are well aware of the reputation.

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Trevor Pence
10/24/2017 12:15:22 am

There is much to be said about these "dating" apps that many teens use. Apps such as Tinder or Spotafriend are very dangerous to the dating culture and teens' lives. Although they can be used correctly (creating a hookup legally between two consenting people), the act of hooking up can destroy relationships and damage what dating is to be about. Even for two people dating, sex is a very intimate step that should not be taken casually. The more people who view sex as a casual activity, the more relaxed people feel about commitment and relationships.

In addition, apps such as Spotafriend are potentially dangerous for unsuspecting teens looking for a hookup. The accessibility for an adult to act as a 15-year-old girl should not be available. Pedophiles are already looking for easy ability to take advantage of young children. If an app is creating a dangerous environment for young teens, it should not exist. Social media should not be the means by which teens develop a relationship when there are much healthier and safer means of doing so.

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Bree Bites link
12/15/2020 11:42:21 pm

This was grreat to read

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