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Making Kids Too Competitive?

5/15/2019

33 Comments

 
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by David Hagenbuch, founder of Mindful Marketing & author of Honorable Influence

Cutthroat Kitchen, The Amazing Race, The Voice—television viewership is one sign that our culture loves competition.  However, adult obsessions often trickle down to the littlest in society:  Now children are the main participants in contest programs like American Ninja Warrior Junior, which prompts the question:  Is marketing making kids too competitive?
 
It’s been 19 years since CBS’s Survivor kicked off the ‘recent’ reality TV craze, which American Idol and other competition-based programs helped explode.  If one considers gameshows, then people first watched competition television in 1938 with Spelling Bee and in 1941 with Truth or Consequences.
 
It could help at the onset to clarify concepts.  Not all “reality TV” involves competition per se, e.g., Keeping up with the Kardashians.  Likewise, there’s a broad range of competition TV, some of which is more real/organic, like Deadliest Catch, while other shows are more scripted, e.g., Family Feud.
 
For many years, adults have been the primary participants in these programs, but more recently that focus has shifted to series showcasing much younger competitors, for instance:
 
  •  American Ninja Warrior Junior:  Athletes in three age groups (9-10, 11-12, 13-14) race through extreme obstacles for a top prize of $15,000. 
 
  • Chopped Junior:  Young ‘chefs’ frantically prepare three courses for a panel of judges, with the chance to win $10,000. 
 
  • Design Squad:  “Contestants design whimsical machines in order to win an Intel college scholarship worth $10,000.” 
 
  • Food Network Stars Kid:  Children cook against each other with the hope of hosting their own cooking show. 
 
  • Project Runway Junior:  Clothing designers age 13 - 17 compete for a “full scholarship to the prestigious FIDM in California; a complete home sewing and crafting studio, plus, the dream machine, all courtesy of Brother; a feature in Seventeen Magazine; and a $25,000 cash prize, to help launch their line.”
 
  • So You Think You Can Dance–The Next Generation: Dancers from 8 to 13 years old leap, twirl, and wiggle to win a top prize of $250,000.
 
  • The Voice Kids:  Young singers compete for prize money worth over $30,000, as well as a trip to Disneyland Paris. 
 
This list is by no means comprehensive; there are many other kid-focused, competition-based television series, not to mention dozens featuring adult competitors, which begs the question:  Are these shows telling children that life is all about winning? 
 
Take even a brief look at plants and animals of the natural world and it’s easy to understand the old adages eat or be eaten and only the strongest survive.  Life is competitive.  However, we’re human beings.  Aren’t we above winning at any cost?  Shouldn’t we value cooperation over competition?  
 
In her U.S. News & World Report article “How Toxic Competition Is Ruining Our Kids – and What to Do About It,” Katie Hurley identifies four outcomes of over-the-top competitiveness for children: fractured friendships, stress, burnout, and missing out on part of their childhood. 
 
Kids are naturally wired to want to win.  Anyone who’s played games with children, whether it’s checkers or chess, knows that you don’t have to tell them to dislike losing.  In fact, many kids, even very young ones, loath defeat so much that they have a hard time dealing with not winning:  Some throw tantrums or storm out of the room and sulk.
 
Is kid-focused competition TV fueling that destructive fire?  Are these shows encouraging the next generation to exalt winning above all?
 
First, it’s important to support that competition is fundamentally a good thing.  Yes, all life needs to be competitive to survive, but beyond perpetuating existence, competition teaches things like responding to adversity, avoiding complacency, and valuing hard work.  And, when participating in a group, competition also can teach teamwork and communication. 
 
It’s natural to think of competition in connection to sports, but the preceding benefits, as well as others, often accrue to individuals who engage in all types of competition, including academic ones.

The last three years, I’ve had the opportunity to involve teams of marketing students in a regional marketing plan competition.  First, there’s a wealth of learning that occurs in the preparation process, getting ready to compete.  Second, the knowledge that you’re competing against other schools, encourages everyone to ‘up their game.’  Third, you can learn from your competitors:  seeing what they do well and emulating those best practices.  
 
Whether it’s academics or sports, competition also is just plain fun, part of which is undoubtedly from the adrenaline rush—you’re on stage, being tested, while others watch.  There’s also the pure ‘love of the game.’
 
Growing up, my favorite sport was basketball.  Although, I enjoyed shooting around by myself, there was nothing like playing a game against others.  In fact, besides playing on our high school team, I often arranged pick-up games with my peers.  There were plenty of times I didn’t win, and I certainly didn’t like losing, but having the opportunity to play was always more important than the outcome.  Win or lose, I could congratulate my opponents, telling them “good game” and suggesting “let’s play again sometime.”
 
Continuing with sports examples, it’s unlikely that just watching competition, live or on TV, does much to make a person more competitive.  For instance, there are plenty of older sports spectators sitting on couches who may be passionate about their favorite teams, but they don’t exhibit any signs of becoming more competitive.
 
On the other hand, younger people are probably more prone to watch competitions they enjoy and want to participate in them, provided they have the requisite skills.  It’s really what happens after joining ‘the game’ that makes a person more or less competitive.
 
In the same “Toxic Competition” article referenced above, Hurley describes how most often super-competitive kids are products of overzealous parents, pushing their offspring too hard to achieve.  Most of us who have been around kids’ sports or similar competitive endeavors can relate:  It’s really not the kids who are too competitive; it’s their parents.
 
I haven’t seen all of the kid-focused competition TV programs listed above, but I have watched some of them.  From what I’ve witnessed, the shows model healthy competition, e.g., the children are not placed under inordinate amounts of stress, they are frequently praised for their efforts, and any criticism they receive is constructive.  The shows also present positive reactions to the outcomes, highlighting both humble winners and gracious losers.
 
Like most human behaviors, there are probably many factors that contribute to kids’ competitiveness.  It’s unlikely, though, that competition TV causes children to espouse winning at any cost.  Rather, most of these programs model healthy competition for kids.  As such, the shows also represent “Mindful Marketing.”


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33 Comments
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9/21/2019 10:34:03 am

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Emma Stratton
9/25/2019 12:45:30 am

I believe these specific shows are telling children that life is all about winning. When professionals market to children, they are essentially marketing to the parents of these children. If the parents think their child is capable of meeting the goal and obtaining the prize, they will likely sign their child up. Once they have signed them up, they will encourage them to win so they reap the benefits. Kids are naturally wired to win, but when they have an outside influence from their parents that tells them they must win, it becomes harder for them to accept failure. A lot of child behavior is formed through the replication of a parents actions. As stated in the article, “it’s really not the kids who are too competitive; it’s their parents.” I could not agree more with this statement. I have worked around kid’s who play sports since birth and a huge contribution to the overall success of the child in the sport is the way their parent encourages or critiques them when they win and lose.

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Susan
9/25/2019 08:28:38 pm

I am a huge fan of certain reality shows -- I love watching the Survivor "outwit, outplay, outlast" format and wondering how I would do if I were to compete. I enjoy watching individuals developing their strategies and wondering how they will pivot when they fall out of favor with the tribe. I enjoy the physical contests that combine persistence, endurance, stamina and skill. I also love the blend between the group competition and the individual competition.

I also enjoy the Great British Baking Show, but for very different reasons. The judges in this show aren't about fostering a competitive spirit between contestants, they are about encouraging the contestants to do their very best and encouraging them to be creative problem solvers when things go (sometimes horribly) wrong. When a contestant knows the product is not their best, the judges and the other contestants offer encouragement to finish as best they can, and then offer commiseration once the round is complete. This blend of compassion and competitiveness is what draws me to the show.

I used to work at a church camp where all recreational activities had to abide by their philosophy of recreation and the gospel of grace. For that camp, all activities needed to be inclusive, show forgiveness, encourage individual's best, and provide a way for the group to redeem itself from poor behavior. Group games rarely had a winner or loser, but they were still highly competitive.

As we read about conscious marketing and I read the blog about competitive reality tv shows featuring children, I realize there is a way to foster both competitive behavior that can draw out our best while also requiring the show to be conscious in marketing its brand. What type of television would that be? Who would be the target audience? What companies would be eager to spend their advertising dollars on such a show?

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Jacob Murray
9/25/2019 10:18:40 pm

I see a lot of what is mentioned here in today's youth. It is well stated in the article that "super-competitive kids are products of overzealous parents, pushing their offspring too hard to achieve." While children often value the reward of the win, few can be expected to understand the important lessons that come with losing if they have parents that push them so much to win. Parents that value the win so much should focus their children on growing through lessons from losing and to improve and learn from losses. This is a crucial part in competition that successful athletes and other kinds of competitors would agree is necessary to grow and move forward.

Competition is good and fun as this article says, but only if those participating are focused on the aspects that will help them grow as competitors and people. Children don't get to learn the value of perseverance and sportsmanship if they are only taught to focus on an end goal of winning. Parents are critical in upholding their children's competitive spirit as much as they are in showing their children what else is to be gained and experienced by competition.

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Jennie Young
9/26/2019 11:11:27 am

As an athlete, an older sister and someone who is very competitive, this article is very interesting to me. I agree that society and marketing efforts have been very much engraving this need to win in childrens mind. The great rewards that we associate with winning is not good for childrens upbringing. I think we often praise the children that are on these competition shows not realizing that although they are incredibly talented and gifted, they are still children.

I agree that the parents are often the ones that cause lots of drama and put all this pressure on their children. With this example I think of the show Dance Moms, which show mothers of dancers who fight for their child and maintaining that they are the best and brightest. The environment and pressure that that creates for those dancers is very competitive and unhealthy.

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Tyler Piston
11/3/2019 09:37:41 pm

I really liked this post, because at a young age I was very competitive. I do not think being competitive is bad at all. I like the beginning where the article said, fundamentally competition is good. I think the last statement is false in a way, the one about it's not the kids it's the parents. My mom is the least competitive person that I know. Yet, I am very competitive. I do see parents out there that are crazy competitive and over work their kids. This usually causes their kids will to compete to die out quickly.

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Tyler Piston
11/4/2019 03:12:44 pm

Overall, I think competition is great. It helps people strive to be the best they can be with whatever they do. Kids need to learn to compete, because when they get older and it's time to find a job it's a dog eat dog world. I believe competition is different in kids. It is more friendly. There are those cases where parents are psycho. That is what people need to look out for.

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Rebeka Preston
10/26/2020 06:25:42 pm

First, I am glad that you brought up the fact that competition is not a bad thing. As a kid that grew up playing sports from the time I was three and living in a sports centered family I would say that competitive children is not a bad thing. I know that they did not have these kids versions of these shows when I was that age, but I remember telling my parents that I wish they did so I could compete at that level. There are definitely serious consequences to children being too competitive, but they are all outcomes we are aware of them happening until after they have already happened. Being competitive in various aspects of life, whether it be sports related or not, people must understand that it makes for some surprising outcomes.

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